Michael Jackson’s True Love

There has been a lot of speculation about Michael Jackson’s romantic relationships. What did he mean when he said that Diana Ross was his mother, lover, and friend? Was his marriage to Lisa Marie Presley the real deal? Was he gay?

I know who the true love of his life was. The one he had dreamed about since he was a little boy. The one who made him feel giddy in the stomach when the phone rang. The one who understood the essence of his being. The one who would be the most loyal of cheerleaders when it came to his wildest aspirations. The one he would return to again and again. The one he would give his name to. The one who would remain devoted to him long after his death. His muse from an Irish beer dynasty.

The Guinness Book of World Records was first published in 1955, three years before Michael Jackson was born, guaranteeing an appropriate age gap. It wasn’t the first, but it is the most successful publishing effort by a brand not traditionally involved in publishing, the O.G. of content marketing. Inspired by a hunting dispute over the naming of the fastest game bird in Europe, Sir Hugh Beaver, managing director of Guinness Breweries, wondered how often people would discuss such hard-to-find facts over a pint.

After sending out a thousand free copies of branded record books designed to entertain some bar trivia, the promotional material became so popular it turned into a media brand. Similarly, but much earlier, the Michelin brothers produced a free road trip guide for motorists and travelers to speed up tire wear, which later evolved into a more sophisticated paid guide to hotels and restaurants.

In the nineties, the Guinness Book of World Records was a household staple, especially in children’s bedrooms. Pretending to learn something worthwhile, my cousin and I would flip through the thick volume of superlatives. Some records, like Tallest Mountain, were common knowledge. Others, like the Longest Distance Pulled by a Horse While on Fire, were too peculiar to remember when the opportunity arose to revel in a surprising fact. Today, it’s a soulless website, seven social media channels that mirror the same content, and a marketing department.

“We’re on a mission to show off your brilliant brand, and your amazing products and people, one record at a time! Discover how record breaking can elevate your brand presence, captivate audiences, and transform your story into record-breaking reality,” it says on the website.

“For the first time in my entire career, I feel like I’ve accomplished because I’m in the Guinness Book of World Records,” Michael Jackson proclaimed at the official ceremony in February 1984 that manifested Thriller as the Best-Selling Album of All Time. But to accomplish is not to become happy.

“Obviously you haven’t spoken to the world for fourteen years. So, you went inside, you became a recluse. Was it to protect yourself?” Oprah asked empathetically in 1993.

“I felt there wasn’t anything important for me to say and those were very sad, sad years for me,” Michael replied.

“Why so sad? Because on stage you were performing, you were getting your Grammys. Why so sad?” she follows up.

“Oh, there’s a lot of sadness about my past and adolescence, about my father and all of those things.”

Making a point of establishing his nemesis, Michael sneaks a pre-Thriller timeline into Oprah’s post-Thriller question. According to himself in a 2001 getmusic.com phone interview, the reality of his Thriller success was more enthusiastic.

“Now Charlie sends in a question and says, ‘What achievements in your life are you the most proud of?’ Michael answers, “When Thriller became the biggest-selling album of all time, and it was enlisted in the Guinness Book of World Records, and, there’s so many other lists. You know, they’ve enlisted me in there like seven different times now. It was my happiest time of my life. I was so happy.”

The happiness wasn’t from a short-term fling, but a long-term relationship. Whether it was a $50 million endorsement deal with Pepsi, Winning the Most Grammy Awards in a Single Year or being the Highest-Earning Dead Celebrity, none of his records went unnoticed. As a supportive partner who remains faithful even as a widow, each accomplishment was rewarded with a certificate’s kiss. When he visited the offices of the Guinness Book of World Records in 2006, Michael couldn’t contain his excitement and gratitude. Like an eager girlfriend expecting a ring during an anniversary trip to Paris, he received a copy signed by the entire staff. “Wooow! Thank you! This means the world to me. It really does. Thank you so so much! I’m a big fan, really!”

The romance didn’t just revolve around material indicators of success. With creativity, many love letters appreciated the finer nuances of Michael Jackson’s body of work. Most Charities Supported by a Pop Star may seem like an easy challenge for any other pop star, as there is no minimum donation mentioned. However, this record has not been broken since its inception in 2000. First Beat-‘em-up Video-game to Use Dance Tactics, Moonwalker will forever position itself 1990’s as a pioneering product.

“It brings me great pleasure to confirm that with this new world record, Michael Jackson’s ‘Michael’ has earned its place in history. This poster has not only achieved incredible scale, but it has combined this with intricate detail and having seen it up close I can confirm that the quality of the image is fantastic. Michael Jackson already holds a number of Guinness World Records, and we are thrilled to award another title to the King of Pop,” said the adjudicator in 2010 celebrating the World’s Largest Poster.

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Out of every hundred victims of sexual assault, only about thirty report the crime. Of those thirty, one or two turn out to be false accusations. For a brand that embraces the power of statistics, the numbers leave nothing to be misunderstood when you consider Michael Jackson’s least favorable record: ten accusers, nay, victims; at least.

Jordan Chandler’s allegations in 1993, which led to an out-of-court settlement of more than $20 million, wasn’t Michael’s only unexpected expense that year. Jason Francia’s mother received a reported $2 million, which Jackson’s lawyer Mesereau didn’t deny when he questioned the man in court; he only used it against him. In 2005, Gavin Arvizo received nothing but humiliation. In 2020, the Michael Jackson estate settled with five other men. Each received $3 million in exchange for their silence. Add Wade Robson and James Safechuck.